What is Holding You Back? Part Twelve

​Many of us are wired to help others, we see it as a moral obligation, and it is commendable. However, many of us cannot say "no" no matter what it is we are being asked to do, much to our detriment personally and professionally. It is a habit of always being agreeable by default, to avoid conflict, confrontation and this inclination tends to hold us back from what we need to do ourselves. 

Of course, if you have the wherewithal to help another, please do. What I am referring to, as an example, is the scenario of someone asking for monetary assistance, and you say, "yes or maybe," even though it puts you in a position where you cannot meet your own obligations.

Does this sound familiar to you?

What I found to work for me along the way as a default without being hasty or rash, when asked for a favor, I simply will say, "let me give that some thought and I will get back to you." I find this to be more diplomatic than running the risk of offending the person or being antagonistic. And allows me time to "honestly" find other alternatives to address the request.

If there are no other options, we must immediately explain why we cannot at this time, it is usually the case that we can deflect the blame away from ourselves and accuse a previous commitment or obligations as the culprit. This allows you to remain a nice person in the eyes of the petitioner. 

Cultivating the ability to say "no" when it is beyond your threshold, what does this do for you?

It is often the case of prioritizing your time, what is important to you, and if you have the courage to say "no", it will increase your productivity and you will be much happier.

Not being able to say "no" does not mean you lack inner strength, but it often means you have a good heart, however, sometimes to a fault, and that is what compromises our priorities. It is a matter of getting comfortable to be able to use "no" as a tool to define our personal limitations and it also helps the other to understand the same.

We must cultivate this expression with the premise that we cannot please everyone, it is impossible! Unfortunately, if we do not modify our thinking, some individuals will conclude that you are agreeable to anything and will try to take advantage of your kind heart. 

To decline a request that is pernicious to you will empower you to use your time more wisely, and clarifies what is important, and elucidate your focus to impel you to reach your endeavors. Allow me to excuse myself by the following.

"The oldest, shortest words – ‘yes’ and ‘no’ – are those which require the most thought." Pythagoras Ancient Philosopher