Understanding Disability

​Can you think of something you would love to do but cannot? Some would have loved to have played professional football and become as famous as Tom Brady. Some would have loved to have been the leading artist of all time in record sales and leaving a legacy that persists to our day, as Elvis Pressley accomplished. But these two people mentioned could have not been able to accomplish what Stephen Hawking a prestigious British Theoretical Physicist so-called disabled was able to do even while encumbered by a neuro -motor disorder since his 20s and he is no exception.

You can see where I am headed in this blog, simply put, we all live in a spectrum that is based on abilities, natural gifts, and different propensities that only we can expand upon when motivated.

In this week's episode, an author and father spoke of his daughter who was born with Down Syndrome, but who has learned to be integrated into society and leading a productive life, and possibly accomplishing what we could never have done.

We must admit, to be disable is defined as not able, and all of us fit this definition to some degree or another. We may know some who have experienced an egregious physical offense that incapacitated them horribly, however, you find many of these folks are yet (able) to lead productive and succeed in life and contribute to many fields of interest.

I urge you to Think about it, there are far more things that most so-called disabled people can do than not able to do, making them remarkably normal just like you and me and the rest of society.

There are many reasons that some people are reluctant to interact with the physically challenged because they may feel sorry and have the assumption that the disabled are resentful about their physical condition. This is a fallacy in many cases. Many of these folks with disabilities will tell you that their lives are enriched by their personal challenges, and some will even admit, if given the opportunity to change their lives, would not.

What is the most important fact to remember when interacting with people with disabilities is that they are just like you in many ways. And just like all folks, they differ in personality and are quite different in how they view their own disability.

As humans we tend to assign others in restrictive categories or pigeonhole based on their most obvious personality or abilities, but realistically, the disabled do not see themselves in such a narrowed   definition.

Perception is a funny thing because they do not define themselves that way, their inability to do something should not determine how they are viewed by others, no more than someone having the inability to sing or dance and have society pass judgement or be defined by that.

Taking Stephen Hawkings as an example, if you did not know of him as a physicist and his contribution to science, you would only see the obvious, his wheelchair and his lack of physical mobility. However, our first perception of him would fade away once we realize his profound incisive thought as a scientist, his sense of humor, as a husband and everything else that defined his life as a man.

As a community we must learn to look beyond the obvious and make the human connection that can only enrich our own existence.

We also have the tendency to revere disabled folks, to see them as intrepid people and inspirational. We are amazed how they overcome their personal challenges and become a productive citizen, how they are able to compete athletically, and succeed in the business world thus we label them as special. And we wonder and ponder how they are able to do what they do, and perhaps try to learn from their methods, their positive mindset and hope to emulate them for our own success.

The point is, those that are so-called disabled that I have met along the way do not consider themselves as different or special in any way. They do not possess any magical powers but had to learn to tap into their resilience and their positive attitude just like everyone else have to when meeting their own personal challenges. If we want to make the best of it, do we really have a choice? Yes, they are normal like the rest of us.

I call it improvisation! We all have the innate ability to improvise and adjust when it is called upon us to do so in times of whatever hardship we may experience for the sake of survivorship. There is no question, the human spirit is an immensely powerful source.

The attributes that are inherent or cultivated that we evoke in ourselves enables the disabled and you to endure challenges are not unique or heroic to them or anyone else. The ability to overcome any trial that anyone may experience is not beyond our comprehension. in fact, I would venture to say that when the going gets rough, most of us would not crawl underneath our bed in a trembling fetal position, acquiesce and surrender our God given human spirit that resides within all of us. But in the contrary, we would react with the same determination and courage of which is the real lessons we want to learn from those so-called disabled.

So, next time you are introduced to a so-called disabled individual, put effort in getting to know the real person and not the so obvious. Disregard their disability, but search for their abilities, their interests, their likes, and dislikes, and learn how they define themselves.

Never treat them as if they are challenged in any manner. Instead, treat them as an average Joe or Jane. Do you know why? Because they are far more average than we may realize. and you may discover how much you both have in common regarding family, hobbies and aspirations for the future.

I recall an individual in a wheelchair going up on an incline and he looked like he was struggling, however, when he was asked if he needed help, he declined and revealed that it was his own way of building upper body strength, and the allegory of the story is, never assume anything.

If we have questions on how to address a person with a disability, just ask the person directly. What is the big deal? Some do not mind being referred to as handicap, or some may frown about it, unless they are an avid golfer of which is entirely acceptable.

The following says it all. I am reminded of a 2001 American drama film starring Sean Penn "I Am Sam." The principal character, Sam, was an adult with a developmental disability. His attorney not thinking says to Sam: "I need that list of names from you people who can testify that you are a good father despite your handicap." Exasperated, the attorney proceeded to apologize and asked what she should call him. He replied, "call me Sam."