An electric vehicle on average will go approximately 211 miles before having to recharge the battery. This aptly describes a person that is an introvert, he or she can only go so far before they must stop any kind of interaction and reenergize by going for a stroll, read a book or just spend some quiet time alone. Their inner world or internal battery is thus recharged to move forward with daily tasks. Unfortunately, these moments are often misconstrued and stereotyped as being aloof, withdrawn and disconnected socially. In this week's episode, an International Speaker, Coach and Best-Selling Author addressed introversion from a personal standpoint and said that it is a strength, a gift and not a behavioral weakness. When we think of top introverted athletes like Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan, top athletes who were on top of their game, they were often seen recharging, sitting alone, relaxing, listening to music before a competitive game. In contrast, an extrovert feeds, or recharges from the interaction of others and quiet time is not so necessary. However, I must say, there is nothing derogatory either way, it is a matter of how we differently process energy.
Introversion is a behavioral inclination which means it is a propensity or preference. In other words, there is a spectrum of behavior of introversion and extroversion in each one of us. For example, my guest indicated that Tom Hanks is an introvert but shows extroverted traits when called upon to do so as an actor. But remember, it is a total drain on your battery to be pretentious, you can only go so far pretending to be an extrovert. It would be interesting to know what Tom Hanks does to recharge and perform as he does. Not to take away anything from extroverts, but there are many benefits from being an introvert. Introverts are naturally adept as active listeners and have the reputation of being the one that a friend will call when they are having to deal with a personal challenge or to share some good news. The old cliche of having two ears to listen twice as much as to speak is undeniably an inherent truth. In addition to their superlative listening skills, introverts have extraordinary observational skills. As an extrovert processes while talking aloud, an introvert is quietly processing what is being said, what is not being said, observing body language, and feeling their surrounding environment and thus extrapolating to arrive at an intuitive conclusion. Also, they are especially skilled in recognizing the quality of introversion in others. They can tell when the other person is in the process of deep introspection, allowing the person time and space to reflect, to refuel and arrive at their own conclusion, and thus there is emotional comfort in the mutual interaction. There is no question these qualities make them excellent interpersonal communicators. Another aspect of introverts is that they choose their close-knit friends wisely, only a hand full of friends. Remember, introverts can feel themselves being drained or exhausted by others, which is in stark contrast to extroverts where they draw energy from a large network of acquaintances. Introverts are very selective about who they bring into their circle of friends. And this quality causes an introverted individual to be a loyal friend, an attentive friend, a devoted friend, much more than just an acquaintance. Studies have shown that introverts make good leaders because of their compassion for others. They do not crave to be in the limelight, they are not hungry for commendations or accolades, but prefer to highlight and bring attention to the contributions and the strengths of others. Since introvert’s process information more thoughtfully than their extroverted counterpart, this lends itself to getting to know each team member, thus learning the skills and strengths and the passion of each one, introverts are known to be personable. Hence, putting the team in the forefront engenders motivation and cooperation, making the work environment happier and more successful. Now that I have made my case that introversion is a quality worth cultivating, how do I begin? We can begin by understanding that introverts are not the most talkative people in the world. To learn introversion, try to practice the rule of (silence is golden) in your next group of interaction, let others talk more without your interruption. Ask questions to get others conversing, try to focus on others and less on yourself. We can also begin by slowing down and pausing more often, even when your spouse requires a rapid response and accuses you of not listening. Does that resonate with you? Simply mention that you are listening perfectly and processing what was said to arrive at a pragmatic answer, communication is better than reaction, which is often the case with those close to us. Unless you enjoy continuing to stick your foot in your mouth! Have you heard that those that speak loudly are often less heard? So, learn to speak more softly which tends to engender thoughtfulness, more of a meditative mannerism, and encourages your listeners to lean forward giving what you are saying more importance, authority and giving your words more preponderance, it really does work. Again, allow me to say, we all have a touch of extroversion and introversion, it is a spectrum and either quality can be commanded to work for you in any situation in this complicated world.
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