​Is it not interesting that we tend to gravitate to those that have similar opinions and preferences, such in music, art, and movies? Undoubtedly, there is an emotional content at work that brings comfort and an element of security.

It is often the case that likeminded people have the tendency to start adopting each other’s mannerisms, language, and other idiosyncrasies. I am reminded of what happened to me several years ago. I had met this gentleman from Boston Massachusetts, and I was so attuned in communicating with him, I began to sound like I was also from Boston. To this day I find it to be a real knee slapper since I am of Italian and Spanish descent, but this underscores how contagious others can be. 

​There is a classroom of 5-year-old, and they are asks whether anyone in the class that knows how to draw. Immediately, there is an explosion of elation, they are all jumping up and down in their seats raising their hands. Now, the same children 20 years later, as adults, are asked the same question, and all you can hear are

crickets.

What has happened over the years?

We have become more reticent, more self-conscious, more judgmental about ourselves, thinking someone next to me is more talented than I am. This kind of self-consciousness is an unhealthy sense of self awareness. Of course, a certain degree of self-consciousness is needed to be able to conform with social norms. Nonetheless, some of us have become excessively preoccupied with oneself, especially with how others may perceive us. This view is often associated with an unpleasant feeling that is conducive to the lack of self-esteem and in some cases paranoia, thus, we hold back. 

​While growing up, I would hear the expression, tie a string around your finger. I never saw anyone do this, but it was a "reminder" not to forget to do something important. 

I have no idea where this phrase came from, but it was used especially during the mid-twentieth century. Of course, like many other things, it has fallen to the wayside. It was a "reminder or a "notification of consequence.

Today, we have many more ways to remember important things, even on our iPhone comes with an icon called "reminder." Push comes to shove, we also have note stickers we can put on our bathroom mirror or on the refrigerator door. 

Where am I headed with this?

 Have you ever thought about which shoe you put on in the morning, is it the right or the left shoe? It is fascinating to me of all the things we do without conscious awareness.

I know of a blind man who to this day, still turns on the light before he enters a dark room. What a strong and entrenched behavior! Or we could drive to our place of employment, and once we get there, somehow, we do not remember the details how we got there. However, a different level of consciousness was aware, but you were not aware, it is somewhat of a paradox.

I often ask my wife what we are having for lunch, I have come to realize that subconsciously my mind is thinking about something healthy until it brings it to the forefront, of my perception.

​When you combine the two components of chemicals hydrogen and oxygen, the result is water of which is of great benefit. But then you have iron when exposed to moisture, this creates rust, of which is not so beneficial. Similarly, it is a matter of the right combination of choices and most importantly the commitment we make to "respond" two the initial components, hence, a good habit is created.

As we have been discussing, the two elements we must have, is the reminder and motivation (if, then) that interacts with the third element. these are the rudiments or the groundwork of forming a good habit or an otherwise not so desired habit.

​When given a menu at a restaurant, it is often the case the waiter will come around twice before we make up our mind. However, it is interesting to me, when invited to a private home, it is not complicated, what we are having for dinner has been simplified for us. Simplicity is the principle is what I want to discuss in this post.

 The point is, if we are going to start implementing a new habit, choose one that is so easy that it is laughable.

How about saying thank you more often?

​Much like the abdominal muscles, back muscles and the muscle around the pelvis is the core strength of the body, likewise, the four components that we need is the core strength of forming a good habit. Thus far, we have discussed the "reminder, motivation and the response," the fourth element is the "reward" that is derived from the initial three components.

These four elements are a neurological process that can be summed up as the "if, then" that we have been discussing. The "if," contains the (reminder and the motivation), and the "then," contains the (response and the reward).

​We all have an elephant in the room that can be trained. The pachyderm is your brain which is big and powerful, yet trainable by adopting new ways of thinking.

We have seen where a mere human can control such a huge animal very easily, providing the pachyderm remains calm and amenable to instruction.

Have you found music can calm the nervous system?

Of course, there different genres of music, so, listen to the kind of music that has ap positive or calming effect on your mood, concentration, and motivation. Undoubtedly, it can create societal connections that induce oxytocin, the much-needed bonding hormone, much like the warm love between mother and child. 

Research has shown hospital patients who were convalescing and listening to music indicated higher levels of oxytocin than those that did not, thus, were relaxed and recovery was much faster. 

​Is it not true, for the growth of vegetation, you need the sun, water, and fertile soil for the outcome to occur? This is a natural process called a cycle and implementing a desired habit can be just as natural. To encourage a desired habit, you need the right setting or situation of which we have been discussing, the (if, then" concept.

The "if," is the first awareness of the right situation. When writing this post, we were experiencing a rainstorm, and "if" I were more aware of it, I would have "then" initially saved this post before we lost power, and this post. 

​It is not long when a baby learns to roll over, get on his fours, learns to stand and before you know it, you cannot keep up with him.

Similarly, when learning desired behaviors or habits, it is incremental. Having said that, we need to surround ourselves with individuals that will nurture our desired demeanor, much like a mother encourages her child to become agile. 

A well-known American author, entrepreneur, and philosopher Jim Rohn indicated that we are the average of the five individuals we associate with, and I have observed that it is true. The last thing we want to do is to spend time with so called friends that tear down instead of building and fostering your desired character.